In my first post, I talked about how much I loved my new life; however, you were reading my thoughts after being a mother for eight weeks. My loving feelings towards motherhood didn't quite come that easily.
One of the many reasons those first few weeks were so hard, aside from the lack of sleep, was the lack of "me" time. I couldn't go to bed when I was tired, I ate my food cold most meals (if I ate at all), I didn't drink my morning coffee until 2:00 in the afternoon on many occasions, and I definitely didn't have time to check my facebook/email or put on make-up. I didn't go to sleep at night and have time to re-energize, so I could get up and do it all again the next day. The day never ended for me; I went all day, everyday.
It's not something I really thought about much until Madelyn arrived, but for 27 years, the only person I REALLY had to think about was myself. Now, granted, as a wife, daughter, sister, teacher, and friend, I did think and care about others a lot, but if we are truly honest with ourselves, we really are selfish beings. You see that displayed in little children who are learning to share their toys. They don't willingly share their toys, they have to be taught to share them. They are simply displaying their natural tendencies to think of themselves. In one day, all my needs, thoughts, desires, and wants became an afterthought, and I had this tiny baby needing my EVERY moment.
But it's amazing - just like my life changed overnight, so did my priorities. They might not have changed as quickly, but at some point, they definitely caught-up. All the screaming, crying, fussing, feedings, dirty diapers, long days, and sleepless nights all seem worthwhile with one simple smile.
It really doesn't get much better than this.
